2014 was a hard year. Oh trust me, it was beautiful, amazing, and serendipitous all in a way that revealed to me how gloriously involved God is in my life. I had more moments in 2014 where I experienced the power and gentleness of God than any other time. I met and created beautiful relationships with beautiful people and traveled to mysterious and wondrous lands.
2014 was my year. But gosh, was it hard. Instead of trying to make some poetic story out of it, let’s just get right into it:
1. People come and go. I know, I know. So stereotypical, however I think 2014 was the year where I experienced this the most. Sometimes I think that as you grow more healthy and become more aware of who God created you to be, there is also a painful pruning process involved. People that you thought were on your side turn out to have different intentions. When you grow to become more secure, they become threatened because they depended on your insecurity to make themselves feel better. I learned that as painful as it is, it’s vital to let those people go. It’s going to hurt, but I think that’s a good sign. It means you allowed yourself to love.
2. Honesty is not valued by all. I learned that it is not my job to make people tell the truth. I learned that no matter the age, social status, or claim of religion that gossip still runs prevalent for some. I learned that despite having a value for justice and wanting the truth to prevail, sometimes silence speaks the loudest.
3. Security is something to be stewarded. Protecting our minds and our thoughts is absolutely vital to our wellbeing. I am not sure at what point, but somewhere along the way in 2014 I began allowing old mindsets to try to take their root again. Insecurity, fear of rejection, and fear of people began plaguing me and since it took me a while to catch on, I sometimes feel like I may never find my ground again, but little by little, I do.
4. Nothing is impossible. You can do anything you set your mind to. I learned this after eating an entire jar of almond butter. I’m not proud.
5. Never allow yourself to eat an entire jar of almond butter.
6. God is more invested in my dreams than even I am. Last December, I felt the Lord tell me that 2014 was going to be the year of fulfilled dreams. At first, I thought he was referring to the dreams I had settled for, not realizing that he was aiming for the dreams that even I couldn’t allow myself to believe in. I learned that when your dreams begin to come into fruition,that it is important to keep your heart focused of the giver of the dreams and not the dreams themselves.
7. LACK is Heaven’s number one hated curse word.
8. Shame grows in silence. As I mentioned earlier, I found myself caught up in insecurity and I have a tendency to create a catastrophic nuclear war that even King David and all his mighty men would not want to tackle if given the chance that takes place between my own two ears if I am not careful. I get caught up in the “woe is me” mentality and think that everyone hates me and I dread being in public for fear of my appearance. If I allow myself to stay in that place, it just continues to grow and grow. Once it gets revealed, it almost immediatly loses it’s power. Vulnerablity gives people the ability to speak truth into the lies you’re believing.
9. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just cannot keep up with the Kardashians.
10. Your past has no say over your future. 2014 was filled with moments when I would just pause and wonder how I got here. If you had told me five years ago about everything 2014 would hold for me, I would have never believed you. I think that is why I find the story of the thief on the cross next to Jesus. He spent his life as a criminal, but just one look at Jesus and a few painful words off his lips and his entire life was redeemed in a moment. God isn’t looking for the qualified, he’s looking for the heart postures.
Thank you, 2014, for growing and challenging me in ways that I didn’t know possible. You will always be a year that is deeply treasured within my heart. Here’s to 2015.
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